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fragment of a hallucination


English: 50s Style Movie Thearter

English: 50s Style Movie Thearter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From an old blog post:

21 November 2007

In the summer of 2004, I was living in a boarding house on the West side of Phoenix and getting my medication for my Schizoaffective Disorder from the State of Arizona.  I was taking Zyprexa at the time and managing okay but for some reason my doctor decided to switch me to Abilify and step me down off the Zyprexa.

When I went to my pharmacy to fill the lower dosage of Zyprexa, my insurance refused to pay for the stepped down prescription and I had only the Abilify to rely on which would take weeks to get into my system.  In effect, I went cold turkey on my Anti-Psychotic medication and within a few days I went into several days of full-blown hallucinations.  I will share with you the beginning period of this 4 day Odyssey.

I was sitting on the edge of my mattress when all of a sudden I found myself in a hallucination where I was visiting a movie theater in the middle of the night on a planet orbiting a star several light years from our sun.  I could vaguely remember driving there in my beat up Dodge Intrepid, a journey on some transgalactic highway that took me some 7.5 billion years.

When I arrived at the movie theater, the place was empty except for two young children who were managing the place, a brother and sister, who looked to be somewhere between 9 and 12 years old.  I asked them what they were doing working at a theater on a school night and demanded to speak to their mother.  They hurried off and in a couple minutes a plumpish brunette woman came out and greeted me and asked me what I wanted.

I explained to her that I had just arrived there from another planet and hadn’t had a sip of water in 7.5 billion years and she directed me towards the drinking fountain.  I didn’t scold her for having her kids working the movie theater as I didn’t know what the customs were on this planet.  Maybe the children were homeschooled or had lessons downloaded directly into their brains?  I went to the drinking fountain and eagerly sipped the water for several minutes.  I could feel it filling every cell in my body.

When I was done, I asked the mother if I could rest in the movie theater and possibly see a movie and she directed me toward a turnstile.  I punched in a code and walked through when another turnstile popped up and locked around my hips.  The mother was standing directly in front of me.  She pressed some buttons and I could feel the sperm being drained from my testicles, which was quite unexpected though not entirely unpleasant.  Tricky planet, I thought.

I punched a few buttons of my own on the turnstile and the mother found herself in a hiplock of her own, although I really didn’t care to take any egg samples from her, I just wanted to show her I knew what was what.  She punched a couple more buttons and released me and I walked toward the area of the theaters.  I didn’t really look around to see what movies were playing, nor did I care.  I just wanted to rest.

As I went to enter the theater area, a console popped up and asked me to log in.  I logged in with my nickname at the time, The Original Trickster.  That’s when all hell broke loose.  What appeared to be between 50 or 60 Jedi warriors came streaming out of the theaters in full battle garb and began to draw their light sabers.  I had no weapon but my mind.  The Jedi looked at me and started to do something very curious.  Rather than face me in battle, they began to take their light sabers and try to cut their own heads off.

But they weren’t able to because I was controlling all their actions with my mind.  I spoke to them.  I said, “Put down your weapons and I won’t kill you!” but still they kept trying to cut their own heads off.  I was still controlling their light sabers so I said, “Let me put down your weapons and I won’t kill you!”  Upon uttering these words, the entire troupe of Jedi warriors simply disappeared.  I was left in the movie theater with the mother and a small assembly of curious onlookers who had come out of the movies they had been watching.

I spent quite a bit more time in this movie theater during my hallucination but I will save that.

grass grows through the asphalt


Picture of pavement with grass in the background.

Picture of pavement with grass in the background. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

what can you say?
on a perfect day?
and i’m really not looking to rhyme
but it fit

so sue me if i lived
moment to moment
taking it all in

in good company
among the kindred
who have found a way
to unplug

and maybe have a conversation
instead of sitting mesmerized
before the Screen

Gumbytron!
don’t let it go away
don’t take them all away
the waking Dead

let me tell you something
you can fool the masses
but there are always some
who will find a way to free their asses

and i want to be there
to soak it in
with every breath i draw

the gift of another Day
drawing breath
with those that speak their Mind
and the word Unkind
is just in jest
and we can take it
because we know

this Joke
this Wink that woke

a lion’s roar is just a kitten’s purr
among such as these

and now i see them Everywhere

don’t tell me Humanity is dead
don’t tell me People can’t relate

despite the best efforts
to the contrary

i see Hope
even in this Nowhere town

so look around

listen

you might be surprised
at what you see and hear

grass grows through the Asphalt
and oh the stories

I have heard today

 

dark side of the farce


Formation au CFPJ

Formation au CFPJ (Photo credit: Zevillage)

 

giving in to the dark side
of the farce
parading as reality

the almost magical sound
of bitcoins jingling in your empty pockets

twisted into ‘why’s and ‘not’s
at every claw machine in the gallery
never enough

and then the parading streams
of in Formation
line us up like pretty little cabbages
destined to be rotting cole slaw
on the ash heap of Misery

but we need more bigger better faster grids
to move in Formation
around and around

and never ever notice another cardinal
sitting in a tree on an April day again

 

i do not wear a mask


De facto flag for the Anonymous group. Español...

De facto flag for the Anonymous group. Español: Bandera de facto del grupo Anonymous. Français : Principal drapeau/logo du groupe Anonymous (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

i am not Anonymous
i do not wear a mask

perhaps it is a fool’s game i play
but i am tired

it was easy to believe the lies
when i had the eyes of a Lamb
it was easy to stand up for God & Country
but now i see it’s all a sham

lying awake at nights
i realize how badly i’ve been taken
by the very system that i grew up to trust

i can deal with being played the Fool
i can turn the other cheek

but it is not me alone that has been taken
i have friends
i have neighbors
neighbors that i do not know

and it wasn’t like this
it wasn’t like this when i began

and i cannot close my eyes
or wear a mask

 

i should be angry, but at whom?


Angry Talk (Comic Style)

Angry Talk (Comic Style) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

i would
be shocked
angry
wander around my house
in disbelief

but i am none of these

perhaps i am numb
or just indifferent
having seen the story played out

over and over

and wonder, “Why?”

but it should come as no surprise
that there are angry people
in this country
in this world

i am angry

i am angry at
a government-corporate-military industrial-media complex
that feeds the public pabulum and lies
and though i doubt my kazoo
would be of little use in effective change

there are
and always will be
people whose anger at the lies

forces them to take up arms and end it

this is not to say that i have no compassion
for the victims,
real
and witness victims who must now live with what they’ve seen

but it has happened before
that those who would rule the world
discover
there are too many people
to control

the Devil’s bills


English: The Devil's Fireplace, detail- the Devil

English: The Devil’s Fireplace, detail- the Devil (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

i can’t
remember when it started

what shook me
from the Tree of Ordinary Life

yeah, i was there
Yuppie to the core
and climbing over dead men’s bones
without examining my own

without examining my own

i could have
grabbed a brass ring
cashed in
lived with the lies you have to tell
to get along

except

i wasn’t getting along
i wasn’t getting along at all

my body
my spirit
fought me at every step

and something snapped
perhaps I snapped

but found
i couldn’t play the reindeer games
required to pay the Devil’s bills

 

Hear the SoundCloud reading I did:  <click here>

 

you put the schwag in the rolling paper


English: Diagram of a cigarette. Filter made o...

English: Diagram of a cigarette. Filter made of 95% cellulose acetate. Tipping paper to cover the filter. Rolling paper to cover the tobacco. Tobacco blend. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

sister had some papers she got them in a crime
brother bought a bag he trade it for a dime

he put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
he roll a joint up
he put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
he roll a joint up
he put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
and smoked that motherfucker up

called his dealer, woke him up
and said:

Hey man, this shit is pretty great
Hey man, can i get another eighth

you such a silly fucker
let me tell you watcha do
meet on the corner
at twenty minutes to
you better have the money
or you’ll walk home feeling blue

with no schwag to put in rollin’ papers
you gonna sit and stew

brother gave him 30 dollars, dealer told him what to do

you put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
you roll a joint up
you put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
you roll a joint up
you put the schwag in the rollin’ paper
and you and and your favorite dealer smoke the fucker up

 

 

 

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