Posts Tagged ‘ hallucination ’

fragment of a hallucination

English: 50s Style Movie Thearter

English: 50s Style Movie Thearter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

From an old blog post:

21 November 2007

In the summer of 2004, I was living in a boarding house on the West side of Phoenix and getting my medication for my Schizoaffective Disorder from the State of Arizona.  I was taking Zyprexa at the time and managing okay but for some reason my doctor decided to switch me to Abilify and step me down off the Zyprexa.

When I went to my pharmacy to fill the lower dosage of Zyprexa, my insurance refused to pay for the stepped down prescription and I had only the Abilify to rely on which would take weeks to get into my system.  In effect, I went cold turkey on my Anti-Psychotic medication and within a few days I went into several days of full-blown hallucinations.  I will share with you the beginning period of this 4 day Odyssey.

I was sitting on the edge of my mattress when all of a sudden I found myself in a hallucination where I was visiting a movie theater in the middle of the night on a planet orbiting a star several light years from our sun.  I could vaguely remember driving there in my beat up Dodge Intrepid, a journey on some transgalactic highway that took me some 7.5 billion years.

When I arrived at the movie theater, the place was empty except for two young children who were managing the place, a brother and sister, who looked to be somewhere between 9 and 12 years old.  I asked them what they were doing working at a theater on a school night and demanded to speak to their mother.  They hurried off and in a couple minutes a plumpish brunette woman came out and greeted me and asked me what I wanted.

I explained to her that I had just arrived there from another planet and hadn’t had a sip of water in 7.5 billion years and she directed me towards the drinking fountain.  I didn’t scold her for having her kids working the movie theater as I didn’t know what the customs were on this planet.  Maybe the children were homeschooled or had lessons downloaded directly into their brains?  I went to the drinking fountain and eagerly sipped the water for several minutes.  I could feel it filling every cell in my body.

When I was done, I asked the mother if I could rest in the movie theater and possibly see a movie and she directed me toward a turnstile.  I punched in a code and walked through when another turnstile popped up and locked around my hips.  The mother was standing directly in front of me.  She pressed some buttons and I could feel the sperm being drained from my testicles, which was quite unexpected though not entirely unpleasant.  Tricky planet, I thought.

I punched a few buttons of my own on the turnstile and the mother found herself in a hiplock of her own, although I really didn’t care to take any egg samples from her, I just wanted to show her I knew what was what.  She punched a couple more buttons and released me and I walked toward the area of the theaters.  I didn’t really look around to see what movies were playing, nor did I care.  I just wanted to rest.

As I went to enter the theater area, a console popped up and asked me to log in.  I logged in with my nickname at the time, The Original Trickster.  That’s when all hell broke loose.  What appeared to be between 50 or 60 Jedi warriors came streaming out of the theaters in full battle garb and began to draw their light sabers.  I had no weapon but my mind.  The Jedi looked at me and started to do something very curious.  Rather than face me in battle, they began to take their light sabers and try to cut their own heads off.

But they weren’t able to because I was controlling all their actions with my mind.  I spoke to them.  I said, “Put down your weapons and I won’t kill you!” but still they kept trying to cut their own heads off.  I was still controlling their light sabers so I said, “Let me put down your weapons and I won’t kill you!”  Upon uttering these words, the entire troupe of Jedi warriors simply disappeared.  I was left in the movie theater with the mother and a small assembly of curious onlookers who had come out of the movies they had been watching.

I spent quite a bit more time in this movie theater during my hallucination but I will save that.


Mantucky Dreams


carousel_09343 (Photo credit: original_MikZ)

transitory hallucinations and double indemnity fantasies
permeate the cracked edges of Mantucky Park .
condolences to the padre, they padlocked the confessional
and now he’s on the street harassing passersby

two crackheads stop to hear him absolve a homeless drunk
and ask him if he has any money
he laughs and waves them away

the meters along Main Street run backward fast

the parking Nazi pulls out her ticket pad
in anticipation of red flags popping up like poppies
to the music of the Carousel repeating in the distancethe Greek slings his Tadziki and Falafel near the corner,
his line of customers often three or four deep.
seems like the only thing recognizable as food
beneath the Christmas lights

there used to be trolleys
running the length of Main
but they were all pulled up long ago
a lot of the buildings still stand
they make a feeble attempt at a downtown

just a husk,
the Gazebo in the park is lost in ghost whispers
of yesterday

a panel truck makes a delivery at the Mechanics Bank
like it has every day for the last forty of fifty years
some things don’t change

there used to be two Coney Islands downtown
a paradox that no one seemed to notice in Mantucky growing up
we believed we were immortal
would do anything, try anything for a good time
in Jimmy’s Lounge at 16 and 17
eating and drinking whatever came our way

just husks, now, like downtown
seed all shriveled up and dry and blown across the wind
seeing the promise
(more like the lie that we believed)
in younger eyes

how would they know?
no one talks about it any more
let them keep their dreams
while they last

to dream again
and not soak our livers
in rivers of whiskey and drugs

to breathe again
like taking the a breath in cold December

if only…

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