May Gumbytron heap blessings on you and yours

Hamster fishing (Photo credit: The Shifted Librarian)

This may be the last time I write in a human form.
The day of the Hamster Ascension is upon us and when
you see me next I may be a 400 pound white hamster.
I eat crackers, not because I have to but because I
like them.

We are entering a 3 day randomization wave that will
cause many hierarchies to shuffle and you may find
yourself reading meters for Columbia Gas in a suburb
of Columbus, Ohio.  Or find that you’ve turned into
a FOOD – LODGING exit sign on the highhway.

I howver planned ahead and asked Gumbytron for
intercession that I become a 400 pound white hamster.

DO NOT PANIC!

All universal IP addresses have been logged prior to
the randomozation, and if you can’t handle your new
assignement, you can follow the tinmeline you were
on for a small monthly fee which will be added to
your cable bill.

Those wishing to continue on with the new protocol
will have the opportunity to see what the new
technology brought to you by Burnt Hamster is
really capable of.

Set you sights on hyperevolutionary transformations!

what do you call a man?
who doesn’t breathe in what he believes?
what do you call a woman?
whose days are spent with timely thieves?

what are we doing?
really
writing all this nonsense
none will read,
and those who do
have agendas of their own

i have an agenda
a simple one
leave me and mine alone
we have no quarrel with you
no matter how we disagree

your system breeds more of us
than it can imprison
or kill in pointless wars
you can’t poison our babies with your GMOs
cause we are getting wise to who and what you are

so pick a spot
how many of you are there?
i think not as many as you would like to believe
you’ll find yourselves on an island
gold to make the Inca drool
but who will do your bidding now?